Love on Paper Wings

(no subject)

How long does it take for one organism to become two? How long does it take for cells to divide? How long does it take to break up a friendship? It's been found that these things can be measured in a unit called groundings.
Love on Paper Wings

I feel

restless I'm tired but I feel as if there's somthing I need to do....
I think I just feel desperate and like Krish is slipping away from me and like friends arn't ever gonna get any closer. like they will to her but not me. I want to hug her. wait till tomorrow, mia.



Take your hat off boy, when you're talkin to me, and be there when I feed the tree.


Damn you Kiernan, influencing me left right and center. I'm worried for you with you're unspecified family member dead and goneand you not having done anything today.


I should go bathe.
Love on Paper Wings

It's weird when I realised I knew of things all along

Way back when (in the 5th grade) My sister made me a mix CD it had mostly rap and hip hop cause that was what I liked at the time but she put some of her favorite rock stuff at the begining third. I listened to it alot since I didn't have many other CD's. I was just listening to random songs by random bands and realised that back in 5th grade I was unknowinly listening to The Used. What the fuck?
Love on Paper Wings

Been readin One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

and it was talking about how Mcmurphy hadn't tried to fit in a mold. Suddely after reading that it just clicked. I knew why I start freaking out when I start spending to much planning about what I'm gonna buy or who I'm gonna try listening to next. It's cause I'm doing what I think I SHOULD do or at least planning out what I SHOULD do and it's not necissarily what I want. It's also got a lot to do with obsessiveness but whatever. Point is I might not try to fit into society's mold but I've got this nice little black one all made up for myself. Good fuckin Job Mia.




Shit when did I become Mia? Since when do I have two names?
Love on Paper Wings

(no subject)

Hush little baby don't say a word
Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird
and if that mockingbird don't sing
Momma's gonna buy you a diamond ring
and if that diamond ring don't shine
Momma's gonna buy you a peice of twine
and if that twine don't tie real tight
Momma's gonna buy you a little kite
and if that kite don't fly up high
Momma's gonna buy you the whole damn sky.

Off to St. Augustine.
Love on Paper Wings

What the hell?

So I have this dream in which Marilyn Manson I think rapes some girl or something so me and all these other chicks decide to exercise him which instead of getting rid of some demon strips him of his powers cause apparently he has powers. Right so we all hold him down and I cover his eyes and start mutter some like God bullshit. When it's all over the girls are all happy and admire me so they give me these presents which are all DVDs and leave. Manson's still there and hes acting all calm and docile. He needs to take a bath so he asks to use my bathroom but he asks that I come with him saying he doesn't want to be alone. Through this whole dream I've been feeling either guilty for what I'm doing and worrying I'm gonna hurt his eyes or some other such thing, or I'd been wanting to hug him. So this really tempted me and I go with him. No we don't have sex which I must say is surprising seeing as I saw him naked (don't remember much) and in most plotlines such a scene would have led to sex, but I kept hanging with him and he kept letting me. I felt in love with him I think but I woke up before I did anything and somewhere in the all the chaos that I can't remember a bunch of goths kids including and most memorably John Barksedale come and give me these DVDs that I guess will some how going to make fun off me and they spew insults at me and leave. very strange version of hate mail I must say.
  • Current Music
    Marilyn Manson - Born Again
  • Tags
    ,
Love on Paper Wings

(no subject)

I understand why I'm not so pairanoid when I'm by myself. I'm busy on the internet, reading, cleaning, watching TV, somthing. when I'm with Krish at my house or her house we're sitting, rutting, doing a whole lot of nothing. It's that ever present threat of free time that really drives me crazy.
  • Current Music
    Haunted-Evanescence
  • Tags
Love on Paper Wings

I've been throwing around

the idea of whether or not I wanna take a drag. Krish's smoking has been making me more and more curious. I figure I can take one drag and not get addicted like I can take one sip of beer and not become an alcoholic. It seems to make her feel pretty uncomfortable. She's afraid of the guilt. But I don't really wanna do it with anyone else. She's the person I trust to be there when I start coughing like an idiot. I guess I could trust Stacie seeing as I'm oddly comfortable with Stacie despite the years of not being close. Like I'd much rather do pot with her but that's mainly cause I don't want Krish doing pot. Hypocritical? I fear Krish's drug culture obsession.
The other day when Krish was smoking I tried to take it from her. she wouldn't let me and I wasn't trying very hard. I ended up getting her to breath smoke into my mouth. It was strange,like trying to eat a gaseous form of the burnt ends of food.
  • Current Music
    KoRn-Right Now
Love on Paper Wings

Some things just make the bottom of my stomach fall out.

Like randomly deciding it's a good idea to go through my boyfriend's stuff. No I wasn't lurking or hacking. All this is completely public information anyone could access. Just clicking some people in connection with her right. How very stupid of me. *bashes head* It makes me wonder if I can really handle this I can't even go stumbling through her shit without getting my intestines in a bunch. Why was I going through her stuff you may ask? No one talks to me on LJ and I was lookin for people.




Irrelivant: Ponder this question. Why does the above entry sound so farmiliar and yet so unlike the HANNAH that entered A W Dreyfoos High School of the Arts two years previous?
Hell even that sounded like her. Fuck this. She's gonna be askin.